New Moon

Trailer from the new Twilight movie. Its gonna be sick. Although I heard Dakota Fanning is in it, not sure how I feel about that.

Whitlock

1,280 More

Rasmussen Reports:

Obama: 45%
Romney: 45%

alternatively,
Obama: 48%
Palin: 42%

The fact that the polls are this close, this early in the term, is stunning. Obama should be blowing these two out of the water. He's on TV nearly every day, has the most recognized name in the Western world, and has the media in bed with him. This is not a good sign for his 2012 chances. Neither is the news that the government has spent $16 million on canned pork, $1.5 milion to replace a door, and another $1.5 million for mozzarella cheese.

:-)

Winter Classic

I can finally say that I agree with Scott Burnside. How in the hell hasn't Ovechkin played in a Winter Classic yet? The most marketable team in hockey takes a seat for the Goon Squad consisting of Ray Emery, Chris Pronger, Dan Carcillo, Riley Cote. (You heard of the Dream Team, well we're the Mean Team) It just doesnt make sense when you have Ovechkin, Mike Green, Nicklas Backstrom and Alexander Semin.

Next year will probably be a west coast game and hopefully the year after is the Rags Devils game at Giants/Jets Stadium.

How does this make any sense.

Kelly Hildebrandt

(Thanks to OuckFbama for finding this gem)

Miami - Kelly Hildebrandt will marry Kelly Hildebrandt.

This isn't a joke. An engaged Florida couple has the same first and last name.

Here's how it all started: 20-year-old Kelly Hildebrandt decided to search Facebook for other people with her name. Up popped Kelly Hildebrandt of Lubbock, Tex. For the next three months the two exchanged e-mails and then started calling each other.

Then he decided to visit, and the couple soon began dating. Eight months after Kelly Hildebrandt sent her first e-mail, he proposed. The couple plans to marry in October.

I'm surprised a story like this took so long to come out. Think about it. We've had Facebook since 2004. Probably 80% of us have typed our own names into it, seeing how many different Sean Eosefows and Adam Cottrells we can find. I bet about 10% of those have actually messaged someone with their name, saying "duhhh we have the same name." Maybe 50% got a reply, and 10% got a reply AND the all-powerful friend request. Out of that 10%, I bet another 5% kept a conversation going, and half of that 5% became actual friends. 10% of them have begun dating, and 25% of them got married. How many is that?
Here comes the gorilla math:

There's 250,000,000 active users on Facebook.
250,000,000*0.8*0.1*0.5*0.1*0.05*0.5*0.1*0.25 = 625 people.

I guess it's not that surprising after all, that it took this long for it to happen. 625 people out of 6 billion people on Earth is quite the needle in the haystack. Good job by the Miami Herald for dedicating its valuable resources to this story.

Friday

I went to the bar at 4pm this Friday for this girls birthday happy hour. Next thing I know I wake up on my bathroom floor at 6am on Saturday. I have my wallet but not my card. Don't have my phone. At least there wasn't a mystery dump in my toilet like last time. I go to my bed and wake up around 1. I drive to the bar to hoping they have my card. Lucky enough they do. The girl was being a wiseass about how much I spent. I borrow her phone to call my phone hoping someone will pickup. No luck. I go out to my car to drive home and there is a $50 ticket on my car. The Wolf tracked me down. I go home and go back to bed and wake up around 6. I asked my neighbor if I could borrow his phone to call mine. Luckily it wasnt dead and it was under my dresser.

All in all, it was a great time and one I wont soon remember.

May They Never Be Forgotten

Movie Reviews

I had a slop weekend. More details from Fridays nonsense coming soon. But Sunday I enjoyed about 16 diesels and 5 movies. Here are my thoughts.


My Bloody Valentine

Though I didnt see it in 3d, Im sure it wouldve been just as bad. The deaths were actually very entertaining and often, which made the movie tolerable. It also had James King in it, of whom I am a fan.


7 beers out of a 12 pack



Pontypool
Pontypool is an IFC horror movie based on a town in Ontario, Canada. The first 30-40 were awesome. Like a cool, legit story. The whole movie is set in a radio studio. Then they are getting all these calls about herds of people ripping each others bodies apart. Then the hot girl in the studio turns into one of these zombies and starts bashing her head on the glass. But then you find out what is making people turn into these zombies and its a little out there. However, its more believeable than a guy in a coal mining outfit murdering people on valentines day.


10 beers out of a 12 pack (for its originality.origin.originali.ori.origin)



Push
Fairly entertaining story of a dude who has powers but isnt sharp with them then goes on a wild goose chase with dakota fanning. The concept is cool, different people have different powers. Sniffers, movers, pushers, watchers. It was definately lacking something to push it over the hill and better than generic action movies. Dakota fanning really wasnt that annoying either.


8 beers out of a 12 pack




The Uninvited
Once again I fell victim to the ol' great trailer shitty movie routine. (For reference, see the Unborn and Bridge to Terabithia) Only good thing about this movie was Elizabeth Banks.


6 beers out of a 12 pack

30 Rock

I was browsing through Netflix's instant watch offerings and the first two seasons of 30 Rock came up. Thinking to myself, "you've almost finished watching The Office, you have the entire month of August off, why not pick up another highly rated comedy?" So I quickly added them to my queue, fired up the box, and started watching. I watched three episodes before I went to bed, and the show is pretty good. It's definitely not as funny as Seinfeld or The Office, but it's worth watching. I'm not the biggest Tina Fey fan, but I absolutely love Tracy Morgan, so it's very enjoyable for me. Stay tuned for more.

Erin Andrews Nude

Wowww (NSFW)

Have a Great Weekend!

Seinfeld Dialogue

Estelle: I can't believe it, he was so young. How could this have happened?

Steinbrenner: Well, he'd been logging some pretty heavy hours, first one in in the morning, last one to leave at night. That kid was a human dynamo.

Estelle: Are you sure you're talking about George?

Steinbrenner: You are Mr. and Mrs. Costanza?

Frank: What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for?!? He had 30 home runs, over 100 RBIs last year, he's got a rocket for an arm, you don't know what the hell you're doin'!!

Steinbrenner: Well, Buener was a good prospect, no question about it. But my baseball people love Ken Phelps' bat. They kept saying 'Ken Phelps , Ken Phelps'.

Frank (from the answering machine): Jerry, it's Frank Costanza, Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead, call me back!

Are You Kidding Me?

Jamie Foxx's song "Blame It" has the following remixes, according to Wikipedia:

"Blame It (Official Remix)" (feat. Busta Rhymes, Lil Wayne and T-Pain)
"Blame It (Official Remix Pt. 2)" (feat. Kardinal Offishall, Busta Rhymes, Lil Wayne and T-Pain)
"Blame It (Unoffical Mega Remix)" (feat. N.O.R.E., Busta Rhymes, Yung Joc, Freeway, Lil' Wayne, & T-Pain)
"Blame It (Jeezy Remix)" (feat. Young Jeezy and T-Pain)
"Blame It (Jeezy Remix 2) (feat. Young Jeezy Lil' Wayne and T-Pain)
"Blame It (Teairra Mari Remix)" (feat. Teairra Mari and T-Pain)
"Blame It (Joc Remix)" (feat. Yung Joc and T-Pain)
"Blame It (Maino Remix)" (feat. Maino and T-Pain)
"Blame It (Juelz Remix)" (feat. Juelz Santana and T-Pain)
"Blame It (Juelz Remix 2)" (feat. Juelz Santana and Lil' Wayne)
"Blame It (N.O.R.E. Remix)" (feat. N.O.R.E. and T-Pain)
"Blame It (Trina Mix)" (feat. Trina and Lil Wayne)
"Blame It (Freemix)" (feat. Freeway and T-Pain)
"Blame It (G-Unit Diss)" (feat. Rick Ross and T-Pain)
"Blame It (Freestyle)" (Trey Songz)
"Blame It (Freestyle)" (Jermaine Dupri)
"Blame It (Konvict Remix)" (feat. Kardinal Offishall)
"Blame It (Spanish Remix)" (Chavito feat. Fuego)
"Blame It (DJ Ill Will Remix)" (feat. Ya Boy & T-Pain)
"Blame It (Bad Boy Remix)" (feat. Donnie Klang & Yung Joc)
"Blame It (Reggaetón Remix)" (feat. Yomo)
"Blame It (On the Weed) (Dancehall Remix)" (feat. Wayne Marshall)
"Blame It (Skemix)" (feat. R&B SKI)

This is why rap is dogshit now. Someone comes out with a song that gets a lot of radio play, which usually sucks anyways, and the imitators get in line to "remix" it. Ohhh shit, Konvict remixed it, and oh hey there's a Spanish remix, and don't forget, JD has to freestyle it, just so he can keep his name out there. I blame this on Diddy. He started this whole phenomenom, and it was cool for a while, until the price of computers dropped and the performance of computers rose. Now anyone can easily produce a song (see Soulja Boy) or edit an existing one.

Don't even get me started about T-Pain. Sure, I like "I'm On A Boat." But they could have replaced him with Akon, Sisqo, or even that guy from Will Smith's "Candy" and it would have been the same or even beter. He's made a living off of making songs that are turned right into ringtones for retarded junior high schoolers.

If 2Pac was alive today, he'd rip all of these clowns new assholes. Biggie must be spinning in his XXXL grave. Seriously, the only half decent rappers on that entire list are Freeway, N.O.R.E. and Busta, and the latter sucks ever since he cut his dreads. And to the inevitable "what about Lil' Wayne, he's sooo good" comments... I can dedicate an entire day's worth of posts to why he's a bum. You'll have your day in court.

This is why I've pretty much stopped listening to rap. It used to mean something. Now it's dead.

And Jamie Foxx... dude, pick a profession. You're not Will Smith.

Why is this funny to me?

Seinfeld Backup

I hate people who use exclamation points. People in offices use them on every email. And if you dont respond with an exclamation point, you look like a jackass. I'm tired of this social obligation where you have to return exclamation points.

As I relate all my day to day experiences with Seinfeld, below is another one for your enjoyment.

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Elaine: You wanted to see me, Mr. Lippman?

Lippman: I was just going over the Jake Jarmel book and I understand you worked with him very closely.

Elaine: Yes, krhm, yes I did.

Lippman: And, anyway I was just reading your final edit, um, there seems to be an inordinate number of exclamation points.

Elaine: Well, I felt that the writing lacked certain emotion and intensity.

Lippman: Oh, "It was damp and chilly afternoon, so I decided to put on my sweatshirt!"

Elaine: Right, well...

Lippman: You put exclamation point after sweatshirt?

Elaine: That's that's correct, I-I felt that the character doesn't like to be ch-ch-chilly...

Lippman: I see, "I pulled the lever on the machine, but the Clark bar didn't come out!" exclamation point?

Elaine: Well, yeah, you know how frustrating that can be when you keep putting quarters and quarters in to machine and then *prrt* nothing comes out...

Lippman: Get rid of the exclamation points...

Elaine: Ok, ok ok ...

Lippman: I hate exclamation points...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whats great is that seconds later the role of the exclamation point is reversed.

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Jerry: 'Dear Barry. Consider this letter to be official termination of our relationship effective immediately.'

Kramer: Exclamation point.

Elaine: You still have no proof.

Kramer: Elaine, he was sniffing like crazy around me.

Jerry: 'I will expect all funds in form of cashier checks no later than the 18th'.

Kramer: Double exclamation point!

By the way, I just found that magazine cover. Elaine is too hot!

Seinfeld Snippet

Kramer: Jerry, George got arrested.

Jerry: What?

Kramer: Yeah. He went at the Beekman, he tried to land, but they cheesed him.

Jerry: Oh now I see.

Does anyone actually read the articles on the side

Well I did today, and what a gem I found.

Rob Kasper writes about a silly kitty named Maisy that spent the night in her owner's beer fridge. Maisy wasn't hurt. It wasn't clear what brand of beer she found so alluring. Kasper needs to delve further, methinks. Maybe it was Dogfish!

The owner, Bill Nelson, who is the local fire chief in his Australian town, was having family members over to watch a cricket match on the TV. He walked out to snag some brews from his beer fridge, located in a shed adjacent to his home.

Apparently, the cat followed him and jumped in the fridge when Nelson was not looking.

The cat was not missed until the next morning. Then an all out search was mounted around the household. At first, Nelson thought the cat might be trapped in the shed. Eventually he opened his beer fridge, and there was Maisy, chilly but unharmed, curled up on the fridge floor.

Burp.

Best Reality Show

What is real?

Reality shows have been plaguing the world for years, making us think what we are watching is actual real life. Of course, as the dumb consumers we are, are being duped. I have watched multiple reality shows; real world, flavor of love, the hills...etc. Not once was I entertained. The only show that was actually worth the time put in was the White Rapper Show.

This show featured stars such as Persia, John Brown and Shamrock (cant stop). The host was MC Search who was a famous rapper or something in the 80s. Each week the people would have to rap or battle one another in some form. If you were eliminated MC Search would tell you to "step off" and take your shoes off and throw them over a telephone wire.

The finale was between Shamrock and John Brown. Shamrock wrote a club banger song that was hilarious.


John Brown was talking about the "ghetto revival, hallelujah holla back" in his epic titled Car Wars (we talkin bout).






And the winner was.......Shamrock. A-town down bitch.

Here's an Idea

Australian: Pieces of debris fell off space shuttle Endeavour's external fuel tank as it blasted off from the Kennedy Space Centre yesterday, its sixth bid in recent weeks to reach the International Space Station.

The shuttle accelerated into space faster than the speed of sound, reaching 26,000km/h in less than nine minutes. Eight minutes after launch the shuttle entered orbit 225km above Earth, and moments later it could be seen separating from the fuel tank.

When is enough going to be enough? How many times are we going to launch these stage coaches to see how the same old animals react to being weightless? We're just floating around in circles! Either take all the money and put it towards a Mars (or even Moon) mission or sign Roger Clemens out of retirement to teach Obama how to throw a strike. We have soaring gas prices, rising unemployment, and a ton of foreclosures. At least teach our President to throw a ball like a man and not like a little girl. That'd be a lot more useful than launching Space Shuttle after Space Shuttle without purpose.

Plus then we can listen to Suzyn Waldman again... "Rogah Clemens is in President Obama's bahx, and Rogah Clemens is comin' back. Oh my goodness gracious."

File Sharing: A People's History

I was fortunate to have vivid memories of the earliest stages of file sharing, which I'll now share to the world. I'm only going from memory here. There's no Wikipedia or Encarta involved.



I first started filesharing when Napster dropped, I think it was in 2000 or so. I remember the first few songs I downloaded were Ruff Ryders Anthem and some Jay-Z songs. It was pretty fast on the Internet we had at home. I used it in conjunction with Winamp, the wildly underrated music player of the time.



I don't remember why I stopped using Napster, probably when they got sued in a year or two. I switched over to Kazaa or Morpheus, which I relied on until college. They were pretty useful and reliable, I only had to BearShare once in a while. Most of my music collection was not put together until college, when I met the Marlin. He opened my eyes to so many new things. No romo.



Freshman year of college was a bukkake in more ways than one, including file sharing. Some of you may remember i2hub. It was the Holy Grail of illegal downloads. If I remember correctly, it was based on a private network between colleges, which made it blazingly fast. There were legendary users on i2hub with petabytes of data, like EVERY Star Trek episode, EVERY Seinfeld episode, etc. The vast majority of my music and my first porn collection were products of i2hub. But, all good things must come to an end, and one day, i2hub was shut down. No goodbye. No "see you later." No nothing. It was devastating, and the school's mostly-useless student's government sought an answer.



Enter Ruckus. It began with anyone at certain colleges, but finally opened up to anyone with a .edu email address. It was perfectly legal, as the songs were protected with digital licenses. However, it did not take long for some Swedish or German kid to develop Tunebite, which allowed us to turn these useless WMA files into MP3s. The download times were quick, but converting took a while, usually overnight. I still took it for all it was worth until Ruckus was also shut down.



I don't download music music en masse anymore, but when I do get single tracks, it's from Ares. The Professor's been using it for a while and I just picked it up. It's not terribly fast, but it seems to have everything I'm looking for. It's a solid, steady program. I highly recommend it. When I'm looking for movies, I just defer to my brethern on Belle Avenue, as they have better connections (I think RealistNiggaz.com has good stuff, but I can't check at work for obvious reasons). Porn is a completely different matter, one that got its own column a while back. Enjoy.