Tab Please

Here's something I've been burning on for a while. How many times are you working on a huge project at work and find yourself continually reaching all the way over to the left to press tab? Tab is arguably the most effective and most underrated key on the keyboard, but it's so far out of the way. It allows you to navigate the screen without reaching for the mouse and has even more specific functions within programs.

I am personally a fan of the num pad. I spend probably half my day pounding SS#'s into a database. I like to lean on my left elbow and enter numbers with my right hand, making the tab key unreachable without contorting my body. I often think, "Man, I could do this 10 times faster if there was a tab key on the right." Enter the R-Tab.

Made by Wayne Wilson, the R-Tab is a keyboard with a Tab and an Esc key to the right of the num pad. It puts all the necessary keys within reach of the right hand, allowing for an easy and independent rhythm when using the num pad. Wilson says that when used properly the R-Tab increases productivity by 15-27%.

You're a genius Mr. Wilson. I'll take 50.

Where is Phillip

Everyone in their life time has used his screw driver but no one seems to wonder or care who he is. He mustve been a great man no matter how deformed his head is. Because if the design for Phillip's screw driver really does reflect his head, then I can see why he has remained removed from society. Phillip is a great businessman, and maybe he was excommunicated from the world for almost monopolizing the world. 90% of screws rely on Phillip's design.

Thank you Phillip, wherever you may be.

FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE

Patriots training camp opens up today with a practice at 9:30 AM, and another one at 3:45 PM. This will no doubt be the start of another Super campaign. Nothing short of a fourth ring is acceptable. Expect big things from Belichick & Co. this year.

Greatest Movie Yell of All Time?

What's better than this?

Despicable

This reminds me, I now live across the street from Al-Hidaya. I'm trying to get Ashmiel over to hack into their router since he's a whiz with that stuff. Then I can go on Pure TnA on their connection and use all their bandwidth. I only wish my apartment was in the front of the house and not the rear, so I could fly the Flag of Israel right in their fat faces.

MaSHEENES

This is that freshman year shit right here.

PS: Marlin, learn how to resize your videos.

Is this cool?

Modern Warfare 2 Multiplayer Footage

Thanks to JackSparrow for sending this to me.



You're nuts if you think I'm going to go to classes that month. Troy PD is going to find me in my apartment around Thanksgiving like the "Sloth" in Se7en.

Contador and Armstrong Still Going At It

Even though the Tour de France is over and results are final, teammates Lance Armstrong and Alberto Contador as still battling eachother. Contador was recently quoted saying, "My relationship with Lance Armstrong is zero. He's a great rider and he did a great Tour. Another thing is on a personal level, where I have never admired him and never will."

Lance tweeted back, "Hey pistolero, there is no 'I' in 'team'. what did I say in March? Lots to learn. Restated. A champion is also measured on how much he respect his teammates and opponents."

The plot thickens with the news that Lance will ride again next year for the newly formed Team RadioShack. He will likely bring the team manager and many top riders from this year's Astana team over with him. There have also been rumers about my main man Andy Schleck joining Armstrong on Team RadioShack.

If you bleed red, white, and blue then you have no excuse not to watch the tour next year. The greatest rac ein cycling has been won by a spaniard every year since Lance retired in 2005. The yellow jersey belongs back in Austin, Texas, and there is no doubt that Lance will go "ball out" next year to put it there.

Foods Created for the Gods

If I was stuck on a desert island, I'd miss these foods the most.

HORSERADISH


MET-RX BIG 100 COLOSSAL BAR


SWEDISH FISH


SKIM MILK


KRAFT MACARONI AND CHEESE


SWEET POTATO FRIES


CORNED BEEF REUBEN

Gym Scum

Most people at the gym are normal moms, dads, and kids looking to sweat a little and exert some energy. However, there's some people there that must be written about. No matter what gym you go to, and what time you go, you'll always see these people:



Butch chick - Shows up with a weight belt, specialty lifting gloves, and tight black pants that emphasize her glutes. "She" outlifts half of the dudes in the gym and has tits the sizes of mosquito bites.



Skinny old man - Looks like he should be on the cover of a book about the Holocaust rather than the elliptical. He's already 0.5% body fat, but that't simply not good enough. Dude looks like he could get blown over by the breeze coming from the row machine. Get a Big Mac doggy.



MILF - Usually seen doing tons of cardio and ab work to try to lose that ponch she got when she popped out a couple kids. Stretch marks bring her down to a 7, but watching her do aerobics with five of her friends makes it all worthwhile.



Bicurious man - Checks you out constantly in the mirror across the room while rubbing his new rainbow tattoo. Speaks like Adam Lambert. Follows you to the bubbler and stands just a little too close for comfort.



Social butterfly - Won't shut up before, during, and after sets. He treats the gym like it's his personal soap box to spout his views on Christianity, politics, art, and literature to anyone who will listen. Especially loves taking 4-6 minutes between sets.



Roider - Only person in the gym who can pick up the 220 pound dumbbells. Bends the bar when he squats. Usually followed around by 2-3 minions for injections, spotting, and towel retrieving.

Sorry I've pulled a Marlin recently, I'll be back at it tomorrow

Tron 2 is gonna be real real

Please tell me you guys have seen the first one. Here's the link to see the non-cut-off version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKT88pzgRwQ

Have a Great Weekend!

Dumbest chick on the planet

Have you ever felt like you just aren't as smart as the people around you? Then you should move to California and live near this chick who makes Miss South Carolina look like Einstein. I cringed through this whole video, it makes me so uncomfortable.

Some of my favorite quotes are:

"we live in california, this is our home, this is where we live."

"you freeze the fruit and vegetables and it will last forever"

"food is free... we only have to pay for the land... but the land is free... so we dont have to pay"

"the machine can make it for us"

"they're very good at making things"

"on the east coast they have slaves and slavery and made in china"

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Blast from the Past

Yeah Yeah, Im Back

Seinfeld Snippet

NEWMAN: You see, my dear, all certified mail is registered, but registered mail is not necessarily certified.

WOMAN: I could listed to you talk about mail all day.

KRAMER: Anything you wish.. I'll tell you a little secret about zip codes: They're meaningless....

Caned for Drinking Beer

MacQuarie National News - A religious court in Malaysia has sentenced a tearful Singaporean Muslim model to six strokes of the cane after she drank beer in a nightclub, reports said on Tuesday.

Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno, 32, pleaded guilty to consuming alcohol at a hotel nightclub in the eastern state of Pahang last year, the New Straits Times newspaper reported.

"We feel the sentence is fair after going through the prosecution's argument and since the rotan (cane) is provided for in the law," Pahang Sharia High Court judge Abdul Rahman Yunus said, according to the paper.

Look, I think Jamie Foxx said it best, even though it has 50 remixes. I mean, he said it perfectly. "Fill another cup up. Feelin' on your butt, what." Shukarno should have considered the laws of her own country before following Foxx into battle. What flies in America doesn't fly in Malaysia. You don't see Farva getting caned for ordering six Schlitzes. Besides, six strokes is a pittance compared to what she'd get in Iran.

And the hits just keep on coming

Oscar Meyer
David Carradine
Farrah Fawcett
Ed McMahon
Billy Mays
Steve McNair
Arturo Gatti
Michael Jackson
Robert McNamara
Walter Cronkite

and now

GIDGET, the Taco Bell dog