Dumb Car Accessories

I've driven 2,000 miles in the last 10 days, grouped into four long days. I've seen it all over that time, ten mile snarls due to toll booths in Delaware, construction in downtown Syracuse during rush hour, hot chicks in convertibles, beat chicks in pickups, and thousands of Obama/Biden stickers. Why is that, anyways? After Bush won, I still saw thousands of Kerry/Edwards stickers, but no W stickers. Now that Obama won, shouldn't I see lots of McCain stickers? I think it comes down to liberals being poor sports.

Anyways, I also saw a lot of disturbing things that a lot of idiots put on their cars. Mostly in Jersey, but also along the Saw Mill River Parkway in downstate New York. They include:

Translucent license plate frames

Really? You are going to buy one of those to try to get through tolls without paying? Just pay the Man like everyone else. They look ridiculous, so if you're doing it to pick up chicks, try again.

Giant set of steel testicles hanging from the tailgate

These are actually kind of funny, until you're stuck behind them for 10 miles going 40. Then they get old. The best way to avoid them is pass the car in any way possible, or stop at a rest stop and wait a half hour. There are no exceptions.

Calvin Stickers peeing on Fords, Chevys, Toyotas, etc.

Look, Calvin should be renamed "taxpayer," and he should be peeing on GM and Chrysler at the same time. This isn't 1980 and there isn't a rivalry between brands anymore. You guys all suck. And being that loyal to a car company, and actively hating another one is so NASCAR. Let's make one thing clear: GM does not give a shit about you or your family. They care about your wallet. You look retarded.

Sun shades

You've got to be kidding me. Am I to believe that the only way your car is going to heat up is through the windshield? Are the doors, windows, and roof sufficiently insulated that the only way heat is getting in is through the front? C'mon, this is a total waste of money. You're better off taking that $29.95 and giving it to the homeless guy outside the DOE right now, even though he only comes out when it's nice out, and calls people on his cell phone.