Gym Scum

Most people at the gym are normal moms, dads, and kids looking to sweat a little and exert some energy. However, there's some people there that must be written about. No matter what gym you go to, and what time you go, you'll always see these people:



Butch chick - Shows up with a weight belt, specialty lifting gloves, and tight black pants that emphasize her glutes. "She" outlifts half of the dudes in the gym and has tits the sizes of mosquito bites.



Skinny old man - Looks like he should be on the cover of a book about the Holocaust rather than the elliptical. He's already 0.5% body fat, but that't simply not good enough. Dude looks like he could get blown over by the breeze coming from the row machine. Get a Big Mac doggy.



MILF - Usually seen doing tons of cardio and ab work to try to lose that ponch she got when she popped out a couple kids. Stretch marks bring her down to a 7, but watching her do aerobics with five of her friends makes it all worthwhile.



Bicurious man - Checks you out constantly in the mirror across the room while rubbing his new rainbow tattoo. Speaks like Adam Lambert. Follows you to the bubbler and stands just a little too close for comfort.



Social butterfly - Won't shut up before, during, and after sets. He treats the gym like it's his personal soap box to spout his views on Christianity, politics, art, and literature to anyone who will listen. Especially loves taking 4-6 minutes between sets.



Roider - Only person in the gym who can pick up the 220 pound dumbbells. Bends the bar when he squats. Usually followed around by 2-3 minions for injections, spotting, and towel retrieving.