Movie Reviews

As you may or may not know, I love watching movies. I'll watch any movie once (except Point Break or Slap Shot 2) and this lets me encounter many movies I never would have seen. So over the course of this weekend I saw, City of Ember, Knowing, Speed Racer, bits and pieces of multiple Harry Potters and Black Sheep (not the Farley one).

*My movie rankings are based solely on entertainment value.


City of Ember was actually a pretty decent movie. I thought it was going to be a kids movie but it wasnt that childish and was quite entertaining. Bill Murray is always great.

6 beers out of a 12 pack

Terrible. Awful. Piece of crap. Shit. These are words that can describe the movie Knowing. It is now the 3rd worst movie I have ever seen. Cage hasnt been in a good movie since '02. He should stop making movies, get rid of that ridiculous hair and read a damn script before signing onto a movie.

1 beer of a 12 pack
(the 1 beer is because he dies. i almost gave it 12 beers out of a 12 pack because thats how many beers it would take to be able to watch this movie and not shoot yourself)

Speed Racer is a visually stimulating movie that does not lack action. No one is going to win an Oscar for their performance but that wasnt the point of the movie. This movie needs to be watched in HD because the Wachowski brother and sister made this movie simulate an acid trip. And Ricci is smokin.

8 beers out of a 12 pack.

Wow. This movie was awesome...if you enjoy watching a persons jugular getting ripped out by a wild sheep. Seriously. Whats great about this movie is that it tells you its a horror/comedy so when there are corny lines (and there are) its funnier than when a "real" horror movie has corny lines. They dont beat around the bush either, those sheep start attacking soon, and often. I'm not saying I am scared of sheep, but I wont be waiting in line to pet one.

9 beers out of a 12 pack.