Memoirs of a Geisha

What is a geisha anyways? It sounds cool. Here are the things I learned from the 12oz Canada expedition:

1. Avoid leaving in the wee hours of the morning. It does kind of suck. Getting there at 8 AM was cool though, we had a full day. Try to strike the delicate balance between departure time and arrival time.

2. Hot dogs are much better grilled than microwaved.

3. When you have the opportunity to live in a cabin and fish, kayak, drink, play cards, and hang out with five of your closest buddies, you do it. Take off work, paid or unpaid. It's worth it.

4. If someone in your posse gets into a skirmish, you can either punch the other kid in the face or tackle him into the bar, depending on who started it. No exceptions.

5. Six pork chops costs about $10 and pleases many stomachs, especially when lightly seasoned with Guapo's specialty blend of fine herbs and oils.

6. Dogs can get stuck under a wooden deck, then magically find their way out once they are sufficiently scared of the noise of the drill taking apart said deck.

7. Talking football for 3 hours makes it seem like 30 minutes.

8. Avoiding caffeine from May to July improves its effectiveness in July.

9. Homeland Security sends 15 dumb Canucks back to Canada every 30 minutes at the Thousand Islands crossing.

10. Going six days without Internet and cell phones is surprisingly refreshing, although it stunk to hear about Air McNair. Also, hearing about Sheeeeeeeed coming to the C's was music to my ears, although I wish it was 03 Sheed, not 09.

11. Studley Do-Right has the hottest mom I've ever seen.

12. Don't mix 2 liters of sangria with undercooked salmon.

13. Guapo is practically unbeatable at asshole, but JT Marlin can hold his own.

14. Smuggle as much beer into Canada as you can, because someone's gotta pay for that health care, namely people that drink beer or drive cars that use gasoline ($55 to fill the whip). Never seen a $28 case of PBRs before this weekend.