Early GOP Nomination Talk

With Obama's popularity plummeting and discord on the rise in all corners of America, I decided to put together a list of possible 2012 nominees for the GOP (also known as the borrow-and-spend party, as opposed to the Democrats' tax-and-spend strategies). I'll write a separate 4,000 word piece about how they're all crooks, but for now we'll discuss the lesser of two evils. Note that the odds are for the nomination only.


The lightning rod: Sarah "Nailin'" Palin - Odds: 15-1
Highly unpopular with the left and center due to the mainstream media's relentless attacks on her, she is still very popular with the conservatives. She's still raw with respect to many facets of government, but no more so than Obama was. She does have the proper executive experience as governor. And don't give me a line about how it's only Alaska. It's still a friggin' state. However, GOP insiders will likely want to find someone fresh, as Palin's damaged goods since the loss in 2008. If not President, hopefully she'll be in the cabinet as Secretary of State, and walk right into those Muslim countries wearing a little halter top and some stilettos. That'd be a yoooooge improvement over Billary and her man suit.

PS: that picture would be 100x hotter if they just fixed her eyes.



The token minority: Piyush "Bobby" Jindal - Odds: 15-1
Jindal is a rising star in the Republican Party after becoming the governor of Louisiana in 2007. He will definitely be a step in a different direction for the GOP as he would be their first minority nominee ever, like Obama was for the Democrats. His youth and vigor is definitely a boon to his hopes. However, he does have a checkered history with regards to earmarks (as a congressman), the PATRIOT Act (he voted with Bush, as he should have, but NY Times will surely flay him for it), and with abortion (absolutely, 100% pro-life). Jindal opposed the 2009 stimulus bill, which will likely make or break his chances, depending on the success of that program.



Third time's the charm: Jeb "Shrub" Bush - Odds: 10-1
Highly popular former governor of Florida, he's severely and unfairly hampered by his brother's legacy. He turned down a 2010 Senate campaign for unknown reasons, as well as an offer to be the commissioner of the NFL, and it is speculated that he's gearing up for a White House run. He does have a very good record, with moderate views on the environment, education, and health care. He is also hugely popular with Jews and Hispanics, which would be a serious problem for the left. If the American public realizes that Dubya wasn't all that bad a guy, or sees past the inevitable "Jeb=George" comparisions, we could absolutely see Shrub in the Oval Office in ~1400 days.



The favorite: Mitt "F--- Massachusetts" Romney - Odds: 5-1
Should have been the nominee in 2008, as his smooth tongue, good looks, and executive experience would have been too much for Obama to overcome. His Mormon background is a little touchy as this country has grown to see religion as a bad thing. He did great work with the 2002 Olympics in Utah, turning a $200 million deficit into a $100 million surplus, and he can lean on that heavily in a campaign against Obama's incredible deficit spending. I think he'll get past the tough primary defeat to McCain and be the GOP nominee in 2012. However, I have personal issues with Romney. I went to his dinner/inauguration as MA's governor in 2003, and he didn't care to shake hands with the dinner crowd as promised. So it'll be tough for him to get my vote, I'll probably just go with Ron Paul.

The field - Odds: 5-1