Long John Daly

I love Tiger Woods, but he is no John Daly.  Once I become an influential millionaire business man and can afford to play golf with the good guys, I am playing with John Daly.  Why not Tiger Woods?  Because John Daly is might not be alive in 20 years from his style of golf.  And I need to play 18 with the guy.

  He doesn’t fit in at any country club.  He hits drive 350+ yards.  Chain smokes.  Whisky shots.  Gambling.  Deranged wife.  But still he has got 5 wins and 2 Majors under his extremely large belt.  Critics rip him apart for not winning.  Even Sergio doesn’t have a Major, I don’t hear anyone giving him shit.  Daly came in hot in 1991 and on the PGA Championship that year.

People say he is ruining golf.  He plays golf exactly how I want to play it; any f'n way I want.  He goes boneyard on every drive and reaches par 5s that are long enough for the space shuttle to land.  He drinks on the course.  He smokes on the course.  He plays golf with no shirt on.  So what.  He almost hit a drive over Niagara Falls!

The PGA bans golfers from using carts during tournaments.  Let the man drink on tour, he won’t be getting any DUIs during the round.  Golf ratings would go higher than when Rocco almost took down Tiger.  Daly would be rippin shots on the greens when he misses a putt.  Real life Happy Gilmore, and that was a great movie.

What I am trying to say is stop riding John Daly’s ass.  Stop taking away his Tour Card.  If he wants to gamble his money away, let him do it.  Let him put a handle of whiskey in his bag instead of a pitching wedge.  He is living the dream.  Girls.  Alcohol.  Vegas.  And the occasional round of golf on the weekends.  I’m gonna go hit the driving range practicing for my round with him.  Hey John when we play, I’ll bring the Jack.

Thanks to TigersOtherCaddy for this piece