This guy ruined a great thing

Most of you know this asshole as the Dos Equis man, or "the smartest man in the world." Whatever. I've been drinking Dos Equis since Len Bias died. Well that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I've still been on that bandwagon for a couple two tree years now.

I got my big beer drinking break when I was gainfully employed at the local beverage distributor, an experience which deserves its own 5,000 word essay. I always saw these forlorn cases of beer with a weird XX logo on them, usually about 10-12 of them, next to the giant pallet of Mexican Piss (aka Corona). Finally, about halfway through that summer of love, I cracked one of these delightful Lagers open, and the rest, as they say, is history. Aflac got a half of Dos Equis Amber for his new Boiler Room job, which further turned me on to Dos Equis. The Amber is only 75% as good, but it was still worth carrying it up three stories and putting it in the Chegerator.

Since then, I really only drank Dos Equis Lager. Sure, I dated outside the family a few times, namely with Downtown Brown, Mich Ultra (when I went out with JT Marlin), or Sierra Nevada. But like a salmon swimming back to his home, I always circled back to XX. I've only drank a case of beer in one sitting once in my life, during the Super Bowl that shall not be mentioned, and it was of Mexico's finest. You can ask TigersOtherCaddy, he had to deal with all of the empties when he was still a pledge.

Apparently, Dos Equis's importer decided that El Guapo hasn't been buying enough XX, and needs to air these TV/print commercials featuring this old fart. Now everyone's drinking Dos Equis. It's no longer my beer, and if I order it, I feel like one of the losers that just jumped on the bandwagon. I hate that, when "my" things go mainstream. It already happened with Juelz Santana and Family Guy. Now I have to find a new beer. This sucks.