12oz Curls: June 2009

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Updated Office Rankings (Part 2/2)

Here's the top 10 of The Office, going into Season 5 (well I'm one episode deep in Season 5):

10. Holly - Good things so far, but she's gonna have to step her game up big time to move up in the rankings. Previously unranked.

9. Creed - His 8 second description of the Creedthoughts blog was un-freaking-believable, and so was him giving Kelly a tapeworm so she'd lose weight. Previously ranked 11th.

8. Darryl - Great guy. His gang talk with Michael was incredible, as was the safety demonstration when Michael pushed him off of the ladder. He's also tapping Kelly which is sweet, but how's Ryan's beep taste? He was 9th, but then I saw him in a Chili Peppers music video at the gym, so I had to bump him up, as it was Hump de Bump. Sorry Creed. Previously ranked 12th.

7. Andy - Treading water. He's kind of a loser now, I wish he never had to go to anger management. I hope he dumps Angela soon. Previously ranked 7th.

6. Kelly - She's freaking awesome now. Turned around big time for me. Her ping pong trash talk and tapeworm/fainting episode were unparalleled. Previously ranked 18th.

5. Dwight - Dropped because he's been a real snake to Andy. If he didn't save Michael's life, he'd be below Kelly. Previously ranked 3rd.

4. Pam - They made her real hot in Season 4, and the continuing love story between her and Jim is fun to watch. She grew on me. Toby's gonna be pissed. Previously ranked 6th.

3. Kevin - Best supporting character, hands down. "Paul Faust of Disaster Kits Limited. They call him 'Cool Guy Paul.' W.B. Jones of W.B. Jones Heating and Air. Grade A Bad Ass..." hahahahha. Him being "retarded" was unreal too. Previously ranked 5th.

2. Jim - Almost dropped to 3, but he's got a huge volume of work that he can fall back on. Has weakened a bit since Season 3, but still. Definitely not 1A anymore, for reasons that I just can't explain. Previously ranked 2nd.

1. Michael - No surprises here. I could write for days about him. The deposition was awesome, as was the second Michael Klump appearance and him threatening to jump off the roof. The list of his antics that make me crack up goes on and on and on. Previously ranked 1st.

The Office Clip of the Day

Quality is sub-par but the content is gold, pure gold. Andy Bernard may be my 2nd favorite character on TV right behind Michael Scott.

Separated at Birth?

San Fran Giants star pitcher Tim Lincecum and Dazed and Confused actor Willy Wiggins

Tribute to the Tomcat

The F-14 Tomcat was the primary fighter aircraft for the US Navy from the early 1970s through 2006. It was the tip of the sword against MiGs and Bears that would try to sink our carriers in the event of World War III. The most recognizable feature of the F-14 was the variable geometry wings; they could sweep forward for takeoff, landing, and dogfighting, and swept back for high-speed pursuits. This geometry was usually automatically controlled by the in-flight computer. The Tomcat could carry the Phoenix, AMRAAM, Sparrow, and Sidewander missiles (up to 8 at a time, depending on configuration), and was equipped with a 20 mm Vulcan (Gatling-style) gun for carving Ivan to pieces. As the Cold War winded down, the Navy converted several F-14s into strike aircraft. The LANTIRN pod system was developed, which was a cheap upgrade that allowed for night bombings and laser target designation. The new Tomcats could carry several types of bombs, and gave the Tomcat another ten years of service.

Without the Tomcat, we would have had a much tougher time winning the Cold War, as there would have been no credible threat to intercept Soviet bombers and cruise missiles. Top Gun would also be siginifantly different as Maverick would not likely have needed Goose, as most fighter aircraft are one-seaters (see the F/A-18s in Independence Day), and we would have been short-changed. Thank you to Grumman for developing the Tomcat.

The Tomcat went 5-0 versus enemy fighters (mostly Libyans). One Tomcat was shot down by a SAM during Desert Storm, but the pilot survived.

I'll Defend Madoff

Fact: Bernie Madoff operated a gigantic Ponzi scheme, one the biggest of all time, Fact: He defrauded thousands of suckers for billions of dollars. Fact: He admitted it.

However, investors CHOSE to invest their money with him. If not him, then they chose to invest it with a "fund of a fund," which means you better do your due diligence on all of the funds involved. If you were one of those who lost their pensions because your pension fund manager invested with Madoff, then that'll teach you to gamble your retirement in the stock market. It's all a big giant game, with the insiders winning, and the little guys losing. He took advantage of dummies who deserved to be separated from their pocketbooks. There's 100 Madoffs out there, we just need to find them.

You didn't see a red flag when he listed his accounting firm as a 3 person business (secretary, an old geezer, and one actual accountant) located in New City, NY?

Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour, then you are the sucker. You want to invest in something real? Buy real estate. God isn't making any more of that.

Lemming Memories

Fill the void between the last time you got up from your desk to get a drink of water and the next time you check facebook. Play one of the earliest yet greatest puzzle games known to man. Lemmings used to keep me entertained for hours, in fact days back in 4th grade. You have done enough work for the day, now sit back and let the lemmings do the work.

One thing i dont understand is why is their goal to enter this fire cave with a demon on the front of it? That's the last thing I would be laying down bricks, digging tunnels, or parachuting over water traps to get to.

Heres the link to the game. Good luck.

http://www.elizium.nu/scripts/lemmings/

Tribute to YAO

As many of you curlers have heard Yao Ming may never be able to play in the NBA again due to a foot injury. I guess when you're 7'6'' a foot injury = neck injury. If Yao never plays again it is rumored that China will cut off all trade between the US. At a time like this it is important for us all to reflect on Yao's greatest moment which oddly is not a game winning shot or any time as a chinese ambassador. His greatest moment came in 2003 and was only 30 seconds long. When Yao asked the question "Can I write a check?" you could tell this guy had something special.

God Speed Yao.

Seinfeld Dialogue of the Day

Frank: Tommy Tune is a very good dancer. You ever see Tommy Tune dancing?

George: No.

Estelle: I like tap dancing.

Frank: Tap dancing. Anyone can tap dance. It's all in those shoes.

Estelle: Are you kidding? They practice for years, those people.

George: What's for supper?

Estelle: Somebody's at the door.

Frank: Tommy Tune is very tall. That helps. It makes him lankier.

Impressive... Most Impressive

Monday, June 29, 2009

Finally Monday is Over!

Morgan is happy too...

Updated Office Rankings (Part 1/2)

I've finished four seasons, so I'm on pace to catch up for the new season's start in the fall. I ranked all of the characters a while ago, which you can find here:

Part 1
Part 1 (revised)
Part 2

They have changed drastically. Many characters took nose dives, while others made the leap into the top 10. These are only the order in which I like them, I'm not knocking their acting or anything like that. FYI: I added Holly to the mix, and took out Roy and Karen. Here goes:

18. Meredith - She sucks. I hate her. The day Michael fires her is the greatest day in the show's history. Previously ranked 19th (out of 19).

17. Phillys - Cost Scranton 5 days vacation. What a fattie. Close to being last. Bob Vance is a dink too. Previously ranked 16th.

16. Ryan - Turned into a yooooooooge douchebag. Karma got him though. I wonder what happens when Pam comes back from NY? Where does Ryan work? Previously ranked 8th.

15. Angela - Continuously cheating on Dwight. Why do broads do this? Previously ranked 9th.

14. Jan - C U Next Tuesday to Michael. She seemed to get beater as the show went on. Plus she got knocked up, which ruins all chicks. Previously ranked 13th.

13. Stanley - Brings nothing to the table, and disrespected Michael, so I had to drop him down. He's too militant. Previously ranked 10th.

12. Toby - Another nosedive, no pun intended. I never knew he was such a creeper. My bad. Sucks that he broke his neck. I think he'll be back in Scranton at some point. Previously ranked 3rd.

11. Oscar - Can't love him, can't hate him. Sorta like don't ask, don't tell. He's okay. Previously ranked 15th.

Tomorrow... Top 10.

separated at Birth?

Popeye Jones from the NBA and TJ from the hit TV show Sister Sister

The Office Clip

Dwight K. Schrute: This is a message, for the entire office, so that everyone can see that I am capable of physically dominating them.

Deadliest Month Ever

June has seen Elton John replace Jacko as the King of Pop, as well as Vince Offer supplanting Billy Mays as the King of Info. Ed McMahon died on June 23 so Scottie Pippen has become the world's greatest sidekick. Farrah Fawcett, international sex symbol, hasn't been that attractive in a while, and I don't really think she was ever at the top of her game like the latter three peeps. Finally, there's David Carradine, from Kung-Fu and Kill Bill, and he had an unfortunate run in with a hooker in Thailand. He went out the way we all want to go out.

Thank God the month is almost over. It seems like every day, another celebrity dies. Hollywood's citizens have been cowering in fear as the Reaper has been cutting everyone down to size. At this rate, we'll see Kevin Bacon, Dr. Robert Atkins, and Alonzo Mourning taking dirt naps by Independence Day.

Seinfeld Dialogue of the Day

George: Lupe. That's very nice, very nice. Listen, are you going to be making up the bed in the morning?

Lupe: Yes.

George: Fine. Excellent. Could you do me a favor? Could you not tuck the blankets in? 'Cause I can't sleep all tucked in.

Lupe: Oh, yes, yes.

George: Yes, I like to just be able to take the blankets and swish them and swirl them, you know what I mean? You know, I don't like being all tucked in. I like to have a lot of room, you know I like to have my toes pointed up in the air. Just like to scrunch up the blankets.

Lupe: Yes, yes. It's too tight to sleep.

George: Exactly, you know what I'm talking about, right?

Lupe: It's too tight. Him too?

George: Uh, Jerry, you want your blankets tucked in?

Jerry: Excuse me, what?

George: You want your blankets tucked in?

Jerry: What blankets?

George: When Lupe makes up the beds in the morning.

Jerry: I don't know, whatever they do.

Lupe: I tuck in? Yes?

Jerry: Tuck in, tuck in.

George: Alright, so that's one tuck and one no-tuck.

Lupe: Okay.

George: Yeah. One second sweetheart. Jerry, I really think it'd be easier if you didn't tuck.

Jerry: Excuse me, fine, you don't want me to tuck, put me down for a no-tuck.

George: Two no-tucks.

Jerry: Uh, hang on a second, You know what? Changed my mind, make it a tuck.

George: You just said you weren't tucking.

Jerry: I'm tucking! Hello? Hello? They hung up on me. They don't know where Kramer is anyway.

George: Alrighty, so. That's one tuck and one no-tuck. Got that?

Things you probably didn't know

A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.

This is absurd. This reminds me of when Dwight Schrute says that he once killed a werewolf in his neighbors backyard but by the time he ran over to it, it had transformed back into the neighbors dog.

Get Victorias Secret to sponsor your school

RPI needs more hunnies, that's an absolute fact. What better way to bring in fresh tail then to have victorias secret as a sponsor. Click the link and vote. It's embarrassing that the marine core is leading all schools, give me a break.

Thanks to TheDiva for the link.

http://www.vspink.com/nominate_your_school.jsp

Friday, June 26, 2009

Early GOP Nomination Talk

With Obama's popularity plummeting and discord on the rise in all corners of America, I decided to put together a list of possible 2012 nominees for the GOP (also known as the borrow-and-spend party, as opposed to the Democrats' tax-and-spend strategies). I'll write a separate 4,000 word piece about how they're all crooks, but for now we'll discuss the lesser of two evils. Note that the odds are for the nomination only.

The lightning rod: Sarah "Nailin'" Palin - Odds: 15-1
Highly unpopular with the left and center due to the mainstream media's relentless attacks on her, she is still very popular with the conservatives. She's still raw with respect to many facets of government, but no more so than Obama was. She does have the proper executive experience as governor. And don't give me a line about how it's only Alaska. It's still a friggin' state. However, GOP insiders will likely want to find someone fresh, as Palin's damaged goods since the loss in 2008. If not President, hopefully she'll be in the cabinet as Secretary of State, and walk right into those Muslim countries wearing a little halter top and some stilettos. That'd be a yoooooge improvement over Billary and her man suit.

PS: that picture would be 100x hotter if they just fixed her eyes.

The token minority: Piyush "Bobby" Jindal - Odds: 15-1
Jindal is a rising star in the Republican Party after becoming the governor of Louisiana in 2007. He will definitely be a step in a different direction for the GOP as he would be their first minority nominee ever, like Obama was for the Democrats. His youth and vigor is definitely a boon to his hopes. However, he does have a checkered history with regards to earmarks (as a congressman), the PATRIOT Act (he voted with Bush, as he should have, but NY Times will surely flay him for it), and with abortion (absolutely, 100% pro-life). Jindal opposed the 2009 stimulus bill, which will likely make or break his chances, depending on the success of that program.

Third time's the charm: Jeb "Shrub" Bush - Odds: 10-1
Highly popular former governor of Florida, he's severely and unfairly hampered by his brother's legacy. He turned down a 2010 Senate campaign for unknown reasons, as well as an offer to be the commissioner of the NFL, and it is speculated that he's gearing up for a White House run. He does have a very good record, with moderate views on the environment, education, and health care. He is also hugely popular with Jews and Hispanics, which would be a serious problem for the left. If the American public realizes that Dubya wasn't all that bad a guy, or sees past the inevitable "Jeb=George" comparisions, we could absolutely see Shrub in the Oval Office in ~1400 days.

The favorite: Mitt "F--- Massachusetts" Romney - Odds: 5-1
Should have been the nominee in 2008, as his smooth tongue, good looks, and executive experience would have been too much for Obama to overcome. His Mormon background is a little touchy as this country has grown to see religion as a bad thing. He did great work with the 2002 Olympics in Utah, turning a $200 million deficit into a $100 million surplus, and he can lean on that heavily in a campaign against Obama's incredible deficit spending. I think he'll get past the tough primary defeat to McCain and be the GOP nominee in 2012. However, I have personal issues with Romney. I went to his dinner/inauguration as MA's governor in 2003, and he didn't care to shake hands with the dinner crowd as promised. So it'll be tough for him to get my vote, I'll probably just go with Ron Paul.

The field - Odds: 5-1

Favorite lolcats

Israeli Fighting Vehicles

Following up on yesterday's post, here are some of the whips that we use to prevent the Holocaust from happening again:

Merkava Mark IV (God's Chariot)

Israel decided to develop their own tank in the late 1960s to reduce their reliance on the United States. This is a decision that is paying off today, as the Merkava is arguably the most advanced tank in the world. Most specifications are classified, but I can tell you that it has a composite armor system with reactive capabilities, a 120 mm gun that can handle anti-tank missiles, 3 separate machine guns, and an internal mortar system. The speed is also classified, but some experts believe the 1,500 hp engine can bring the Mervaka up to 50 mph off road over a range of 300 miles. Israel has over 200 of these in service, and plans on releasing another 300.

Caterpillar D9 Armored Bulldozer

The IDF uses the D9 to clear booby traps, which is a big problem, as that's the weapon of choice for Arabs (when they run out of stones to throw). They also use the D9 to demolish the houses of terrorists and jihadists after evicting them. Since they do not go quietly, the D9s are retrofitted with heavy armor, and are known to be impervious to RPG and machine gun fire. They also use an unmanned version, called "Thunder of Dawn." Love it.

Editor's note: Apparently there is a D9 in the new Transformers movie. If so, that's even more badass.

Sa-ar 5-class Corvette

Also known as "Tempest," these are the pride of Israel's navy, which is a small part of the IDF. They are diesel/gas powered, and can exceed 35 knots under full power. The Tempest has SAM and SSM capabilites, a close-in-weapons-system, as well as six torpedo tubes for those pesky minisubmarines. There is also a landing pad for helicopters which can aid in search and rescue missions.

Seinfeld Snippet

JERRY: Hey, do you know what the Whip does?

KRAMER: What whip?

JERRY: The Whip. In the Senate, in the House.

KRAMER: Well, you know in the old days, when the senators didn't vote the way that the party leaders wanted 'em to... they whipped them.
You better vote the way we want you to, or there's gonna be big trouble.

Dance Off

King of Pop- Moonwalk

King of Them All- One foot Typewriter + nonsense

King of Rock and Roll- Original Stanky Leg

King of Queens- Qtip

MC Hammer- Typewriter

.......I had to add 2 Legit 2 quit for the Jose Canseco cameo

Vanilla Ice- not sure
it wont let me embed it so heres a link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8BxbdQqMRE

Superbad- Cop Dance

What I'll be jamming to at the clubs

popozao= big ass

Because its the freakin weekend

It is virtual insanity

High Wallabies

SYDNEY — Wallabies snacking in Tasmania's legally grown opium poppy fields are getting "high as a kite" and hopping around in circles, trampling the crops, a state official said.

Tasmania Attorney-General Lara Giddings told a budget hearing Wednesday that she had recently read about the kangaroo-like marsupials' antics in a brief on the state's large poppy industry.

Tasmania is the world's largest producer of legally grown opium for the pharmaceutical market.

"We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," The Mercury newspaper quoted Giddings as telling the hearing. "Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

How come wallabies get away with this and we get arrested?

Since it's the freakin weekend

Enjoy this classic to get the party started.

DUIs aren't that bad

Compared to texting while driving, drunk driving is actually quite safe. Car and Driver conducted a study that compared unimpaired driving, drunk driving (conducted in a safe area), and sober driving while reading (then separately while writing) a text. The results are as follows:

If we're going to lock people up, ruin lives, and treat drunk drivers like lepers, we might as well do the same to texters. Or let everyone free, as it doesn't say anywhere in the Constitution that drunk driving or texting or even drunk texting is illegal. It is the supreme law of the land, and any laws contrary to what is says are unconstitutional.

Seinfeld Dialogue of the Day

GEORGE: Well, Jerry, I been thinkin'. I've gotten as far as I can go with George Costanza.

JERRY: Is this the suicide talk or the nickname talk?

GEORGE: The nickname. George. What is that? It's nothing. It's got no snap, no zip. I need a nickname that makes people light up.

JERRY: You mean like...Liza!

GEORGE: But I was thinking...T-bone.

JERRY: But there's no "t" in your name. What about G-bone?

GEORGE: There's no G-bone.

JERRY: There's a g-spot.

GEORGE: That's a myth.

George takes a bite of his sandwich and gets a piece stuck to his chin.

JERRY: T-bone, the ladies are gonna love ya.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Bad Ass Israeli Weaponry

My bro and dad are in Israel doing volunteer civilian service in IDF (Israeli Defense Forces). Here's a sample of some stuff we use to keep the Durka Jihad Allah Durka's from driving us into the Mediterranean like they want to. Today we bring you small arms, tomorrow is TBD:

M4 Carbine

The M4 is very similar to the M16, except it has a collapsable stock and shorter barrel (16" as opposed to 20"). It is much more suitable to the urban warfare that the IDF usually finds itself in. It is chambered in the standard 5.56x45mm NATO, which is almost identical to the .223 Remington that the civilian AR-15 uses. The M4 does not have full automatic fire, rather it fires in three round bursts (as well as semi-automatic). However, the M4A1 does have full automatic capability.

IMI Galil Assault Rifle

Derived from the Finnish RK 62, which in turn was derived from the ubiquitous AK-47, the Galil is chambered for both 5.56x45mm NATO and 7.62x51mm NATO (comparable to the .308 Winchester). It comes in four basic varients, the rifle (AR), carbine (SAR), compact (MAR), and light machine gun (ARM). All are capable of both semi-automatic and fully automatic fire. The Galil seems to be being phased out by the M4 to some extent, but will always find a special place in the hearts of many Israelis.

Desert Eagle

The Desert Eagle is a famous large frame pistol known for its .50AE chambering, although it is also available in .357 Magnum and .44 Magnum. It's so hardcore that it has a gas-operated action, virtually only seen in rifles, so it has the same power as large revolvers. It is pretty big, so the Baby Eagle was developed, which uses the man-stopper .45 ACP round.

Things you probably didn't know

Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult! In 2006 a waitress was arrested after punching another woman in the back of the head for tipping her 30% on a meal.

CPR on a bear?

"We could tell the heart was still beating … but the chest wasn't moving at all. I didn't want to lose this bear because I wanted to get a radio collar on it, so I started doing chest compressions on the bear to try to get air in and out of the lungs," Van Spengen told CBC Radio's B.C. Almanac on Tuesday .

While he said he did consider mouth-to-mouth breathing, another component of cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), Van Spengen jokingly said, "[Bears] usually don't carry breath mints."

I am about to venture into Canada myself in a week with 5 other dudes (no homo) and the crazy thing about it is that we are actually bringing a bear with us. Well technically he isn't a real bear but he comes as close as you can get. If he were to take a fall from a tree and his little heart stopped ticking I would surely pound on his chest for a little bit to get him going again. Mouth to mouth? I don't know, I mean I'm not homophobic but that walks the thin line of being gay. Save a friends life vs. getting razzed by my buddies for eternity? I can't decide. Also it seems a little risky getting that close, what if he wakes up and fights me like he did to Rocky. We'll see what happens.

Shout out to TheDiva for finding this one.

RUBIO VS RUFIO

These two young prodigies have more in common then one might think. For example they both have uncanny floor leadership whether its Rubio pointing out open lanes for his 30 year old teamates or if its Rufio teaching 8 year olds how to slice a coconut in half in mid air with a sword. Both are cocky and have been known to lose their cool. Rubio tends to roll his eyes and yell at the ref, a clear sign of his immaturity. Rufio goes in a different direction as he calls Pan a slug eating worm and an oil dripping, beef fart sniffing bubble butt. He then goes on to call him a fart factory, slug slime sack of rat guts and cat vomit, cheesy scab picking pimple squeezing finger bandage, a week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side. These two also have their differences. One rides a skateboard a with sail on it down rollercoasters in trees while the other flies first class with euro chicks. Rufio became real jealous of Pan when he stole all his thunder, and Rubio is about to get real jealous when steph curry and johnny flynn get drafted before him.

The One Good Scene in Total Recall

Seinfeld Dialogue of the Day

KRAMER: Ho ho ho Well come on little Princess, tell Santa what you want. Don't be shy.

MOM: She doesn't speak English

KRAMER: Santa speaks the language of all children. A notchie watchie dotchie do.

KRAMER: A dotchie cotchie dochie,

KRAMER: Hey, Mickey when do we get a break? My lap is killing me.

MICKEY: There is no break.

KRAMER: Its a sweat shop.

Separated at Birth?

Will Smith and Robert Horry

Jason Bay is an American

He took the citizenship test yesterday afternoon and passed with flying colors. Sorry Canada, he's ours now. I was just telling The Kid how I'd get his t-shirt jersey if he was only an American, and my wish was answered. I'll have to get that next time I'm back in the Commonwealth.

Could you pass the citizenship test? Answers appear at the bottom:

Who is the Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court?
George W. Bush
Alberto Gonzalez
Thomas Jefferson
John Roberts

Which of the following amendments does not address voting rights?
19th
24th
15th
7th

How many amendments are there to the Constitution?
9
10
13
27

Which of the following is NOT a requirement to become president? (hint, Obama does not technically qualify, so that eliminates one of them)
Must be at least 35 years old by the time he/she will serve
Must have lived in the United States for at least 14 years
Must be a natural-born citizen of the United States
Must have served as a governor

Who has the power to declare war?
Congress
President
Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

What INS form is used to apply to become a naturalized citizen?
Form N-200 "Petition for Naturalization"
N-400 "Application for Naturalization"
Social Security card
FD-258

Answers:
Roberts
7th
27
Governor
Congress
N-400

Shaq to Cleveland

Too little, too late. LBJMVPGlobalIcon is going to leave after they fall flat on their faces again next year, and they'll be stuck with the Big Cactus and Mo Williams. Shaq's probably 30% better than Big Ben at this point, and that isnt't going to be good enough against Perk and Howard and even a healthy Elton Brand. The Cavs should have traded Wally's contract last year and gotten Vinsanity or Michael Redd when they had the chance, instead of being content with Delonte, Wally, and Pavlovic.

With a healthy KG, Powe the Show returning midseason, and the C's likely to get 120% of Rondo's value from some sucker, the road to the title goes through Boston. I will thoroughly enjoy "witnessing" LBJMVP storm off the court in tears next May.

Happy Fight Night Day!

Fight Night Round 4 came out today. I'm sure JT and SDR have already purchased it. I'm going to play Crackdown and The Bigs for a bit, then pick it up. It's going to be hard to balance MW2 training through CoD4, Fight Night, and Crackdown, especially with the big Canada trip coming up, but I'll do my best.

I'll let one of them write the review, but I just wanted to comment on Tyson's appearance in the game. Who would use anyone other than him? Maybe Ali, but Tyson's presence in the game is basically the reason people will buy it. I hope he's as devastating in the game as he was in his prime. EA also updated the physics and graphics, but Round 3 was already great...

Here's my favorite Tyson quotes:
"My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah."

"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

"I could have knocked him out in the third round but I wanted to do it slowly, so he would remember this night for a long time."

"I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore. Unless you want to."

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Tower on the Mound

I dont know if anyone is paying attention to the College World Series. To get you up to speed, LSU and Texas are playing game 3 of the best of 3 series tonight. The winner will become the national champion.

On the mound for LSU tonight is Anthony Ranaudo from Jackson, NJ. He is a fellow St. Rose alum and teammate. We called him Tower because he was so tall. Back then he was more clumsy and really didnt throw that hard. He has now grown into his body, throws 94 mph and theres talks of being a high draft pick.

Best of luck Tower.

Perez Hilton Again

If that picture doesn't get you fired up, I don't know what will.

The saga continues. Apparently Ms. Hilton sued Polo Molina for unspecified damages for "battery and intentional infliction of emotional distress." The suit goes on to say Hilton was attacked due to the critical comments he/she made against the Black Eyed Peas.

Let's see, if Molina had called Hilton a faggot, which any warm-blooded male would have done after being rudely chastised by one, then he would have been sued as well. That's not even what happened! HILTON called MOLINA a faggot! What the hell is going on inside this asshole's brain?! How can the clerk at the court even take this guy seriously? Molina is in a no-win situation. Either you punch a guy because you're will.i.am's plus one and you get sued, you respond in kind and get sued, or you do nothing, get fired, and get mocked because a "guy" named Perez showed you up. You also lose any chance you have with Fergie.

I see the Hilton/Black Eyed Peas feud reaching Eminem/Ja Rule proportions. Will.i.am is Eminem, Fergie is Lloyd Banks, Molina is 50 Cent, and Hilton is Ja Rule. If all goes well, we won't have to hear from this loser anymore cause they will have ended his career. He already cost Miss California the crown because she answered his gay marriage question truthfully. How many more lives need to be ruined? How many more trees need to be cut down for unncessary US Weekly pages dedicated to this guy? It makes me sick.

Because Horror Movies Suck

I am embarking on a journey to create my own horror story. A baby could write a story and have it be better than half the garbage out there. I will be story boarding and coming up with ideas. If anyone wants to suggest an idea please feel free to do so in the comments section.