After watching Tiger do his thing, I got to thinking, and you know I'm dangerous when I start thinking. If he's a tiger, then what is Federer? What is Brady? Here goes:
Tiger Woods = Tiger: The largest of the four big cats (Phil, Paddy, Cabrera). Highly adaptable. Killed more people than any other cat (he WILL beat out Jack). Solitary and territorial.
Roger Federer = King Cobra: Mortality rate is as high as 75% (wins 75% of singles finals that he reaches). Capable of killing with a single bite. Very dedicated parent(lived with family until very recently).
Rafael Nadal = Mongoose: Cobra's archrival. Friendly around humans. Has no personal problem with the cobra (does not eat cobra flesh), but simply enjoys the fight and the kill
Tom Brady = Bald Eagle: American icon. Large wingspan. Highly protected and revered across the United States. Sexually mature at 4-5 years old.
Asante Samuel = Garden Snake: Gregarious. Will slither into water (Philly) to escape a predator on land (losing 1 game in 2007). Bask in the sun to regulate body temperature (hold out of training camp). Long thought to be nonvenomous (mid round draft pick), but a mild neutotoxin has recently discovered (eventual Pro Bowler).
LeBron James = Weasel: Gingerish-brown in color. Reputation for cleverness and guile. Found all over the world.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
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