Flying Pigs in a Blanket?

Thanks to TigersOtherCaddy for this piece.

This world is full of catch phrases. One of the oldest out there is, “It’s not over til the fat lady sings.” That doesn’t even make sense anymore, fat people sing all the time. Check out that chick on Britain’s Got Talent. Susan Boyle is fat and can REALLY sing. This phrase probably started back during the Black Plague. Fat people didn’t exist back then. We live in a society based around McDonalds. There are fat people everywhere, time to get a new saying. Someone realized that and created this outrageous one. “When pigs fly.” Classic. My dad used to say that to me all the time. So dad, when some mad scientist genetically adds eagle DNA to a pig, and that crazy thing flies, I want Big Foot the Monster Truck for Christmas like you promised me. Once pigs start flying, shit is really going to hit the fan. Another good phrase is “The best thing since sliced bread.” I can’t really argue with this one, sliced bread rules. Imagine trying to make a turkey sandwich on bread you had to rip right from the loaf. Not gonna taste the same.

Some dude cloned a sheep back in the 90s. Soon enough we are going to have fish with hands and dogs with echolocation. In a few years after that, pigs are going to be born with soaring wings. When that time comes, someone has to develop a new saying, cause the old one won’t make sense anymore. My thoughts? “Hey Dad, I’ll give you a ride in my space ship…when Knoblauch gets the throw to first."